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Category Archives for "General"

May 26

Yawning – Why Do We Do It and Why Is It Contagious?

By Dr. Jack Singer | Fitness and Health , General

Yawning is one of the most natural things in the world and something that we do even before we are born, but why do we yawn and why is it so contagious?

Theories abound in the medical world as to why humans and some animals yawn. While some scientists believe that it was a method used by our ancestors to warn off enemies by baring our teeth, others see it as nothing more than an involuntary reflex to demonstrate boredom.

Researchers in the US, however, suggest that its purpose is to help keep us awake, hence the reason for it happening when we are tired. Scientists believe that by drawing more oxygen into the body and expelling more carbon dioxide, the brain is cooled down, allowing it to function more efficiently and helping us to stay awake.

Why do we yawn when we see others yawning? Scientists’ theory on contagious yawning is that it is not merely an act of copying others, but that it developed as a means for groups of our ancestors to remain alert and detect danger.

Although it certainly is an unconscious action, the alertness theory does seem to hold water. Watch athletes before they run a race and you will notice that more than one of them yawns, and it has also been observed that paratroopers yawn before jumping, and presumably not out of boredom!

May 19

The Perils of Perfectionism

By Dr. Jack Singer | Confidence , General

Finding work/life balance in today’s busy and highly competitive world could never be described as easy. For most perfectionists, however, it is downright impossible.

Although many people tend to think of being a perfectionist as a positive thing, true perfectionism is, in many ways, extremely counterproductive. Not only does the need to attend to every last little detail waste unnecessary time and lead to tasks and projects taking much longer than they need to, but it typically means that perfectionists end up allowing work to eat into their own personal leisure time. Perhaps worse still, even once the job is finally handed over, the perfectionist still never feels that he or she has completed it well enough and so is left with intense feelings of frustration and low self-esteem.

Striving for excellence is something that can only benefit ourselves and our employers, but there is a world of difference between this and trying to achieve the impossible. As human beings, we are not built to be perfect; trying to achieve perfection is a certain road to unhappiness. By all means give everything your best shot, but know when to stop because your best really is good enough!

May 05

Keep a Healthy Balance in Your Busy Life

By Dr. Jack Singer | General , Work-Life Balance

Learn to shut work off. These days you can work practically anywhere, anytime. It can be a trap, so set a firm time of day to stop work and start concentrating on your family and other activities.

• Focus on the here and now.
When you’re working, give it your full attention. And when you stop, don’t let worries about work and details about your job occupy your thoughts. This may take some practice, but teach yourself to be in the present at all times.

• Find a good non-work activity.
If you’ve got nothing to do after work, you’ll have a hard time disengaging when you try to stop. Find a hobby to immerse yourself in, or just make an effort to devote your full attention to your family’s needs. (Even then, make an effort to give yourself some personal time so you don’t burn out on responsibility.)

• Don’t let your job define your identity. When you describe who you are to people, let your job be only one aspect of your self-portrait. That way, a setback in any one area won’t be as damaging to your self-image, and you’ll be less tempted to ignore other possibilities open to you.

Apr 01

Preparing to Get Alzheimer’s

By Dr. Jack Singer | General

When faced with a parent suffering from Alzheimer’s, most of us respond with denial (“It won’t happen to me”) or extreme efforts at prevention. But global health expert and TED Fellow Alanna Shaikh sees it differently. She’s taking three concrete steps to prepare for the moment — should it arrive — when she herself gets Alzheimer’s disease.

Feb 20

Stress Mastery Rx #9

By Dr. Jack Singer | General , Stress Mastery Rx Series

by Jack Singer, Ph.D.
Consulting Psychologist and Professional Speaker & Trainer

[contentbox width=”500″ borderwidth=”1″ borderstyle=”dashed” bordercolor=”000000″ dropshadow=”0″ backgroundcolor=”F5F5F5″ radius=”0″]This is Stress Mastery Rx #9 in a series of 77 proven personal prescriptions from psychologist Dr. Jack Singer. If you have any questions, please feel free to call Dr. Jack at 1-800-497-9880 or email him on the contact page.[/contentbox]

Words – so innocent and powerless as they are, as standing in a dictionary, how potent for good or evil they become in the hands of one who knows how to combine them. ~ Nathaniel Hawthorne

Stress Mastery Rx #9 from Dr. Jack SingerRecognize that you are not a prisoner of past programming.  Just because you heard negative comments from your parents and others, does not make those statements accurate. You can choose to disregard them, and  you can decide not to repeat them to yourself. Instead, repeat healthy, optimistic thoughts to yourself daily.

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My book has checklists and action plans for stress mastery but you can make your own and keep track of what you are doing to better your physical health, and thereby reduce your stress levels.

All 77 tips are featured, along with easy-to-learn tools for practicing stress mastery, in Dr. Jack’s nationally acclaimed book, ‘The Teacher’s Ultimate Stress Mastery Guide.’ You don’t have to be a teacher to change your life with this book. Dr. Jack’s tips apply to everyone, in all professions!”

Order the book here, for the limited time discounted price of $31.95

Free 20 Minute Telephone Consultation with Psychologist Dr. Jack Singer

About the Author:

Dr. Jack Singer is a professional speaker, trainer and psychologist. He has been speaking for and training Fortune 1000 companies, associations, CEO’s and elite athletes for 34 years. Among the association conventions which Dr. Jack has keynoted are those which serve financial planners.

Dr. Jack is a frequent guest on CNN, MSNBC, FOX SPORTS and countless radio talk shows across the U.S. and Canada. He is the author of “The Teacher’s Ultimate Stress Mastery Guide,” and several series of hypnotic audio programs, some specifically for athletes and some for anyone wanting to raise their self-confidence and esteem. To learn more about Dr. Singer’s speaking and consulting services, please visit DrJackSinger.com and FunSpeaker.com or call him in the U.S. at (800) 497-9880.

Feb 13

How to Get 15 Days of Fame

By Dr. Jack Singer | General

By Jack Singer, Clinical Psychologist

Cop Killer Christopher DornerWant to get 15 minutes of fame? How about 15 days or weeks of fame? 

Here’s the answer: just brutally kill someone, get the attention of the media, and there you go.

O.J Simpson….Casey Anthony…now Jodi Arias and alleged cop killer Christoper Dorner.  Psychopaths whose crimes make titillating stories, are covered extensively and breathlessly by the media like they are reality shows, and the stars of the show become famous. We can’t wait until the next day to discover what happens in these real life soap operas.  And in the cases of Simpson and Anthony, sometimes they even get away with it! What Hollywood writer could script a more exciting story?

What is our curiosity with psychopaths and their exploits all about? Perhaps we are fascinated because we can’t imagine committing such horrific crimes, and then having absolutely no remorse. Therefore, these people seem to us like outliers from the human species, much like terrorists who easily sacrifice their lives and have no compunction about killing innocent people.

We are glued to Nancy Grace… Joan Velez Mitchell… Dr. Drew, and their producers are lined up at the courthouses so we can all get a glimpse of these monsters and hear their stories. We’re fascinated by their stories and even by the lies they tell and the explanations their lawyers fabricate.  It’s really the theatre of the absurd.

Sadly though, besides the murder victims themselves, there are other victims present in the courtrooms that are exposed to all of us peeking in on their pain.  These are the devastated family members of the deceased who are exposed to the gory details of the horrific crimes their loved ones were victims of, and these family members are also unwillingly exposed to viewers across the world. It is not healthy, it is not kind, nor is it seemly.

One wonders whether this type of exposure across the world stage, of psychopaths and their crimes encourages other psychopaths to commit crimes, because of their twisted desire to become “famous,” or should I say, “infamous.”

To date no research I am aware of has explored this issue.  Perhaps the time to determine whether such media coverage encourages more crime is now!

Free 20 Minute Telephone Consultation with Psychologist Dr. Jack Singer

About the Author:

Dr. Jack Singer is a professional speaker, trainer and psychologist. He has been speaking for and training Fortune 1000 companies, associations, CEO’s and elite athletes for 34 years. Among the association conventions which Dr. Jack has keynoted are those which serve financial planners.

Dr. Jack is a frequent guest on CNN, MSNBC, FOX SPORTS and countless radio talk shows across the U.S. and Canada. He is the author of “The Teacher’s Ultimate Stress Mastery Guide,” and several series of hypnotic audio programs, some specifically for athletes and some for anyone wanting to raise their self-confidence and esteem. To learn more about Dr. Singer’s speaking and consulting services, please visit DrJackSinger.com and FunSpeaker.com or call him in the U.S. at (800) 497-9880.

Feb 04

Marino… Another Superstar’s Fall From Grace

By Dr. Jack Singer | General , Public Melt Downs

by Dr. Jack Singer
Professional Sport Psychologist

Dan and Claire MarinoHere we go again. South Florida hero, Dan Marino, now joins the ranks of the Arnold Schwarzenegger’s and John Edwards of the world… celebrities who cheated on their wives, and fathered children out of wedlock. In each case, their wives seem to be wonderfully supportive sweet and kind. In fact, exactly the traits any man would look for in a life mate.

Not many people know who Claire Marino is because she has stayed out of the limelight, preferring to mother her wonderful family of 4 natural and 2 adopted children. I don’t know Claire personally, but I did reside in the same Florida town as the Marino family during Dan’s glory years with the Miami Dolphins and always heard people speak very highly of her. Claire is known as a down-to-earth, unpretentious lady, frequently seen chit chatting with strangers in the local Publix supermarket, for example. She and Dan co-chaired several charities in South Florida and she always stood side-by-side with Dan.

So, what is the story with some famous people?

Why are they no longer content with their chosen partners? Why do they stray from religious tenets in which they were raised?

As a Professional Sports Psychologist, I have seen many of these sad stories play out and have counseled many athletes and their wives.

The answer, from this psychologist’s perspective, is that some celebrities (certainly not all) possess a narcissistic personality disorder, plain and simple. In each of the cases I describe above, these men strayed once the spotlight on their careers had dimmed and they then got involved with younger women.

I view this as a struggle to recover the perceived power and adoration that they view as lost once their public careers ended. For John Edwards, he was on the downside of his career. For Arnold Schwarzenegger, his film career was in the rear-view mirror, and for Dan Marino, his sports broadcasting career is miniscule compared to his fabulous sports career with the Dolphins.

So, what message is there for women who consider marrying a future star? Short of having your man analyzed by a professional before marrying him, I would suggest carefully listening to your gut when it comes to the attention and adoration he seeks. Where such an overweening need for attention predominates his personality, pay attention as that is a huge red flag. Don’t delude yourself into thinking he will change. Personality disorders do not change! Take charge of your life and change your choice in a life partner.

Free 20 Minute Telephone Consultation with Psychologist Dr. Jack Singer

About the Author:

Dr. Jack Singer is a professional speaker, trainer and psychologist. He has been speaking for and training Fortune 1000 companies, associations, CEO’s and elite athletes for 34 years. Among the association conventions which Dr. Jack has keynoted are those which serve financial planners.

Dr. Jack is a frequent guest on CNN, MSNBC, FOX SPORTS and countless radio talk shows across the U.S. and Canada. He is the author of “The Teacher’s Ultimate Stress Mastery Guide,” and several series of hypnotic audio programs, some specifically for athletes and some for anyone wanting to raise their self-confidence and esteem. To learn more about Dr. Singer’s speaking and consulting services, please visit DrJackSinger.com and FunSpeaker.com or call him in the U.S. at (800) 497-9880.

Jan 30

Dealing with Bullying in the Workplace

By Dr. Jack Singer | Bullying , General

by Dr. Jack Singer

Dealing with Bullying in the Wordplace by Dr. Jack singer“Bullying” is certainly not limited to schools and children. It can occur at any age and in any locale, including the workplace.

Workplace bullying is occurring in the US at an alarming rate. The American Psychology Association reports results of a 2010 survey of Americans showing that “13.7 million people said they were currently being bullied, and nearly three times that number said they had been bullied in the past.”

Bullying in the workplace constitutes a form of harassment, but bullying itself is not presently illegal, unless this form of harassment discriminates against someone who is in a protected group (i.e., harassment based on sex, race, age, disability, color, creed, national origin, or religion). The problem is that bullying behavior often “flies under the radar screen” and often does not get defined as “harassment.”

Here are some differences between harassment and bullying:

  • Harassment is often physical (e.g., unwanted touching, use of force) while bullying is psychological and verbal);
  • Bullying targets anyone, so many victims are not members of protected groups, or the bully and victim could be from the same group;
  • Harassment is often obvious and focused on the victim’s group membership. Bullying is typically more subtle and begins as mild criticism, teasing, making jokes at the target’s expense and then escalates or persists. Others may join in, considering it “harmless fun.”

Bullying is usually based on anger issues the bully has not resolved, his/her need to displace blame onto others, rather than accept responsibility, or, most often, is it based on the insecurities of the bully, him or herself. Typically, bullies choose targets who threaten the bully’s self-image, so targets are often highly people the bully perceives she/he is competing with, or they could be “nerds,” who are smarter and obviously more accomplished than the bully, but non assertive. They make easy targets and other potential targets may join in with the bully, for fear of becoming targets themselves..

How to Stop Workplace Bullies.

In their new book, The Bully-Free Workplace: Stop Jerks, Weasels, and Snakes from Killing Your Organization, Gary and Ruth Namie outline the steps that workplace leaders and managers need to take to stop bullying.

Step 1:

Recognize Bullying. Organizational leaders need to be informed about the dynamics of bullying, the costs, including both the physical and psychological effects on the targets of bullying, and the negative impact on workplace climate and productivity. Employee training needs to teach potential victims that identifying bullies will be in their and the company’s best interests.

Step 2:

Intervene. Again, look at bullying like harassment, so that managers deal with it as soon as they are aware of it.

Another idea is to provide a reward system for bystanders to report bullying, even if the targets are afraid of reporting it themselves.

Step 3:

Stop Rumors. Starting and sustaining negative rumors about bullying targets is a big part of the bullying process, and is one of the reasons that bystanders don’t intervene (particularly if the rumor suggests that the target is the “problem”). Managers need to be aware of the workplace grapevine in order to nip such rumors in the bud.

Step 4:

Hold Leaders and Organizations Accountable. Organizations must make a genuine commitment to create anti-bullying policies, similar to anti-harassment policies, which protect the rights and dignity of all workers. To date, 20 states have begun to enact legislation protecting victims of all kinds of bullying.

Bullies come in all shapes, sizes, ages, and ethnic groups. They may be co-workers or supervisors/managers. Prevention means identifying the culprits and taking them to task legally. Just as in workplace harassment, we need to put the legal mechanisms in place so that companies can suffer from lawsuits as a result of bullying.

If CEO’s know that their company can be sued for such behavior, they will surely develop pro-active forms of sensitivity training for bullying behavior.

Hopefully, we have learned from the unfortunate bullying tragedies that have taken place in schools. We don’t want to develop laws to prevent workplace bullying after there is a disaster, such as a victim suicide.

Let’s take action now and prevent workplace bullying from taking one more victim!

Click here to listen to my interview with Jon Hansen on this subject.

Free 20 Minute Telephone Consultation with Psychologist Dr. Jack Singer

About the Author:

Dr. Jack Singer is a professional speaker, trainer and psychologist. He has been speaking for and training Fortune 1000 companies, associations, CEO’s and elite athletes for 34 years. Among the association conventions which Dr. Jack has keynoted are those which serve financial planners.

Dr. Jack is a frequent guest on CNN, MSNBC, FOX SPORTS and countless radio talk shows across the U.S. and Canada. He is the author of “The Teacher’s Ultimate Stress Mastery Guide,” and several series of hypnotic audio programs, some specifically for athletes and some for anyone wanting to raise their self-confidence and esteem. To learn more about Dr. Singer’s speaking and consulting services, please visit DrJackSinger.com and FunSpeaker.com or call him in the U.S. at (800) 497-9880.

Dec 31

New Years Wishes

By Dr. Jack Singer | Blog , General

Happy New Years from Dr. Jack Singer

It’s almost here – the New Year! And with it comes so much excitement and suspense! It also comes with reflection – and so much gratitude and appreciation. I am SO grateful for all the wonderful people in my life and all that I am blessed with! Thank YOU for being a part of it!

Thoughts of the coming new year are top of mind for everybody today and I would like to share with you a quote that was shared with me by a friend recently.

“I hope you will have a wonderful year, that you’ll dream dangerously and outrageously, that you’ll make something that didn’t exist before you made it, that you will be loved and that you will be liked, and that you will have people to love and to like in return. And, most importantly (because I think there should be more kindness and more wisdom in the world right now), that you will, when you need to be, be wise, and that you will always be kind.” ~ Neil Gaiman

Wishing you and yours a wonderful New Years celebration and a fabulous 2013!

 

Free 20 Minute Telephone Consultation with Psychologist Dr. Jack Singer

About the Author:

Dr. Jack Singer is a professional speaker, trainer and psychologist. He has been speaking for and training Fortune 1000 companies, associations, CEO’s and elite athletes for 34 years.  Among the association conventions which Dr. Jack has keynoted are those which serve financial planners.

Dr. Jack is a frequent guest on CNN, MSNBC, FOX SPORTS and countless radio talk shows across the U.S. and Canada.  He is the author of “The Teacher’s Ultimate Stress Mastery Guide,” and several series of hypnotic audio programs, some specifically for athletes and some for anyone wanting to raise their self-confidence and esteem. To learn more about Dr. Singer’s speaking and consulting services, please visit  DrJackSinger.com and FunSpeaker.com or call him in the U.S. at (800) 497-9880.

Dec 28

Stress Mastery Rx # 2

By Dr. Jack Singer | General , Stress Mastery Rx Series

by Jack Singer, Ph.D.
Consulting Psychologist and Professional Speaker & Trainer

[contentbox width=”500″ borderwidth=”1″ borderstyle=”dashed” bordercolor=”000000″ dropshadow=”0″ backgroundcolor=”F5F5F5″ radius=”0″]This is Stress Mastery Rx #2 in a series of 77 proven personal prescriptions from psychologist Dr. Jack Singer. If you have any questions, please feel free to call Dr. Jack at 1-800-497-9880 or email him on the contact page.[/contentbox]


Practice breathing through your diaphragm.Practice breathing through your diaphragm. 

Put your hands on your stomach and breathe deeply so that your hands move out when you inhale and move back in when you exhale.  If your hands are not moving and only your shoulders and chest move when you breathe deeply, you are engaging in shallow, less relaxing breathing. You can easily teach yourself to breath through your diaphragm with practice.

All 77 tips are featured, along with easy-to-learn tools for practicing stress mastery, in Dr. Jack’s nationally acclaimed book, ‘The Teacher’s Ultimate Stress Mastery Guide.’ You don’t have to be a teacher to change your life with this book. Dr. Jack’s tips apply to everyone, in all professions!”

Order the book here, for the limited time discounted price of $31.95

Free 20 Minute Telephone Consultation with Psychologist Dr. Jack Singer

About the Author:

Dr. Jack Singer is a professional speaker, trainer and psychologist. He has been speaking for and training Fortune 1000 companies, associations, CEO’s and elite athletes for 34 years.  Among the association conventions which Dr. Jack has keynoted are those which serve financial planners.

Dr. Jack is a frequent guest on CNN, MSNBC, FOX SPORTS and countless radio talk shows across the U.S. and Canada.  He is the author of “The Teacher’s Ultimate Stress Mastery Guide,” and several series of hypnotic audio programs, some specifically for athletes and some for anyone wanting to raise their self-confidence and esteem. To learn more about Dr. Singer’s speaking and consulting services, please visit  DrJackSinger.com and FunSpeaker.com or call him in the U.S. at (800) 497-9880.

Dec 21

We Must Be Careful Who We Blame for the Sandy Hook Massacre

By Dr. Jack Singer | General

By Jack Singer, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

We Must Be Careful Who We Blame for the Sandy Hook Massacre

We are hearing suggestions that anyone with Asperger’s Syndrome, Autism, Bi-Polar Disorder, Schizophrenia, or even social awkwardness is a candidate for engaging in rampage behavior.

The fact of the matter is that the number of rampage/mass murder incidents in the US since 2000 is 27, including the Sandy Hook massacre.  Of course, even 1 incident is horrific, but the facts show that these are extremely rare events.

Now, let’s examine the numbers of Americans who suffer from any form of mental illness. According to a new report from the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, a full 20 % of all Americans experienced an episode of mental illness in 2010 and approximately 5% of the population have suffered “from such severe mental illness that it interfered with day-to-day school, work or family.”

About 11.4 million adult Americans suffered from severe mental illness in the past year and 8.7 million adults contemplated serious thoughts of suicide. Nearly 2 million teens, or 8 percent of the adolescent population, experienced a major depressive episode in the past year. Again, if anyone suffering from severe mental illness could become dramatically violent, then the number of mass killings would be staggering!

So, certainly, there are millions of people with Asperger’s, autism, social anxiety, and even psychoses, but only a tiny number of people with such diagnoses ever commit any crimes, let alone mass murders.

Profiles of Rampage Perpetrators 

Typically, people who perpetrate rampage killings are white males, loners, have a college degree or some college, are from relatively stable backgrounds and are from upper- middle to middle class families. They often aspire to more than they can handle, then feel disenfranchised and blame others if they fail.

While it is true that they are much more likely to suffer from a mental illness, it is typically some type of psychosis, which means they have lost touch with reality and could be suffering from hallucinations and/or delusions. These are not symptoms of Asperger’s, autism or being socially uncomfortable. Most often, these perpetrators are not identified as mentally ill, nor do they get help.

Predictors of Violence

So, with so many millions of Americans suffering from emotional and mental illnesses, how can we predict which ones will be suddenly violent? By far, the number one predictor of violence is alcohol and/or drug abuse. Severe mental illness in and of itself is definitely not a predictor.

Here is a critical finding:  A 1988 study in the Archives of General Psychiatry found that after patients were discharged from psychiatric facilities, those who did not abuse alcohol or illegal drugs had a rate of violence exactly the same as that of anyone else in the community.

In a study entitled, Violence and Severe Mental Illness: The Effects of Substance Abuse and Non- adherence to Medication, it was found that when a seriously mentally ill individual combined not taking any psychotropic medication, with abusing either alcohol or drugs, there was a significant increase in serious and violent acts.

So clearly, the only logical conclusions we can draw at this point are that the most important ways of preventing violent acts, such as rampages, are:

  • Early recognition and treatment of severe mental illness in general, and psychoses in particular;
  • keeping psychiatric patients on their meds;
  • keeping psychiatric patients off alcohol and drugs

The Failure of Our Mental Health System

Part of the problem is that parents often assume their child is “just different” and do not reach out for help from the mental health system.  Add to this the sad reality that across the U.S., our mental health system is severely understaffed and cannot keep up with the demand it has now.

Finally, because we have become a nation of people engaging in “politically correct” behavior and protecting the rights and confidentiality of patients… the parents, friends and neighbors of people suspected of being disturbed cannot get these people into the system.  Currently, unless people admit to suicidal or homicidal intent, police will not pick them up for evaluation, nor will the system keep them under watch.

So, we need to re-vamp our mental health system, to be more inclusive, even if we may trample on patients’ rights now and then.  Certainly erring in the conservative direction will save lives, will it not?

What we do not want to do is indict millions of people struggling with mental health issues as if they are likely to commit violence.  This is simply an absurd over-generalization.

Improve the mental health care delivery system in general and we will help all people in need, including that tiny population of mentally unhealthy people who could have the propensity of becoming suddenly violent.

 

Free 20 Minute Telephone Consultation with Psychologist Dr. Jack Singer

About the Author:

Dr. Jack Singer is a professional speaker, trainer and psychologist. He has been speaking for and training Fortune 1000 companies, associations, CEO’s and elite athletes for 34 years.  Among the association conventions which Dr. Jack has keynoted are those which serve financial planners.

Dr. Jack is a frequent guest on CNN, MSNBC, FOX SPORTS and countless radio talk shows across the U.S. and Canada.  He is the author of “The Teacher’s Ultimate Stress Mastery Guide,” and several series of hypnotic audio programs, some specifically for athletes and some for anyone wanting to raise their self-confidence and esteem. To learn more about Dr. Singer’s speaking and consulting services, please visit  DrJackSinger.com and FunSpeaker.com or call him in the U.S. at (800) 497-9880.

Dec 19

The Bully Vaccine Interview

By Dr. Jack Singer | General

The Bully Vaccine Interview with Jon Hansen Yesterday I was privileged to be a guest with Jon Hansen on PI Window on Business on a segment called The Bully Vaccine‘. Today I am told that the interview has been downloaded close to 27,000 times already and it is just barely noon.  That tells you what an important topic this is.

Besides being a topic of interest, the insights provided by the guest panel was incredible. Guesting along with me were  2x Mr. Universe winner and author of the book Mind Over Body Nordine Zouareg, Jennifer Hancock, author of ‘The Bully Vaccine‘ and Meryl Camin Sosa who is the Executive Director of the Illinois Psychiatric Society.

According to a 2004 U.S. poll of children, 86% of more than 1,200 9- to 13-year-old boys and girls polled said they’ve seen someone else being bullied, 48% said they’ve been bullied, and 42% admitted to occasionally bullying other kids.

While a 2008 Health Canada paper by Deborah Doherty and Dorothy Berglund highlights the significant costs for society as a result of the disrespectful and domineering behavior associated with bullying one thing is for certain . . . this is a problem that we can no longer ignore!

Please click here to listen to the program and then leave your comments and observations here. You can also join me on Facebook and Twitter.

 

Free 20 Minute Telephone Consultation with Psychologist Dr. Jack Singer

About the Author:

Dr. Jack Singer is a professional speaker, trainer and psychologist. He has been speaking for and training Fortune 1000 companies, associations, CEO’s and elite athletes for 34 years.  Among the association conventions which Dr. Jack has keynoted are those which serve financial planners.

Dr. Jack is a frequent guest on CNN, MSNBC, FOX SPORTS and countless radio talk shows across the U.S. and Canada.  He is the author of “The Teacher’s Ultimate Stress Mastery Guide,” and several series of hypnotic audio programs, some specifically for athletes and some for anyone wanting to raise their self-confidence and esteem. To learn more about Dr. Singer’s speaking and consulting services, please visit  DrJackSinger.com and FunSpeaker.com or call him in the U.S. at (800) 497-9880.

Dec 17

The Extended Victims of the Horrific School Massacre in CT

By Dr. Jack Singer | Children and Family , Counseling , General

By Jack Singer, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist

bt ctWhile we all try to make sense out of latest horrendous school shooting that has befallen this country, our focus often ignores the plight of the other “victims”…the families of the victims, the friends of the victims, the children who survived this devastating event and other children and families around the world, who viewed this horror through the media.

We usually use the term, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) for people fighting in wars, rape and crime victims, or those battling natural disasters, such as Hurricane Katrina or Sandy.  PTSD can present itself in many forms.

These symptoms can be grouped into three categories:

1. Re-experiencing symptoms:

  • Flashbacks—reliving the trauma over and over, including physical symptoms like a racing heart, sweating and panic
  • Bad dreams
  • Frightening thoughts.

Words, objects, or situations that are reminders of the event can also trigger re-experiencing.

2. Avoidance symptoms:

  • Staying away from places, events, or objects that are reminders of the experience
  • Feeling emotionally numb
  • Feeling strong guilt, depression, or worry
  • Losing interest in activities that were enjoyable in the past
  • Having trouble remembering the dangerous event.

Things that remind a person of the traumatic event can trigger avoidance symptoms.

3. Hyper-arousal symptoms:

  • Being easily startled
  • Feeling tense or “on edge”
  • Having difficulty sleeping, and/or having angry outbursts.

Hyper-arousal symptoms are usually constant, instead of being triggered by things that remind one of the traumatic event. They can make the person feel stressed, constantly worried about danger and angry. These symptoms may make it hard to do daily tasks, such as sleeping, eating, or concentrating.

In the Sandy Hook disaster, we have families, whose lives took a sudden and dramatic change right before the celebration of Christmas, so for these people every Christmas from now on has the potential of pulling those families back to these horrific memories.

Once Sandy Hook Elementary re-opens, the PTSD could re-visit survivors upon entering the school, passing by the areas where shootings took place, etc.

Parents all over the world could now face children suffering with fear, who cannot express those fears.  Parents need to be vigilant to signs or symptoms of PTSD and take action immediately.

What Do Parents Need to Do, Now? 

Parents need to speak to their children now, rather than waiting for the child to discuss what happened.  Gently help your children identify their feelings, rather than sitting them down and lecturing them.  First, identify the feelings, let them know that crying and fear are normal reactions, reflect back what you hear them say (empathizing with them and validating those feelings and fears) be sensitive to them, and ask what questions they may have.

The bottom line is that children need to feel safe and secure.  It’s ok to tell them that there are bad people in the world who do bad things, but there are millions and millions of children their age who never have bad things happen to them and their will most likely never experience anything like this.

Be prepared to have ongoing conversations with your children, because just because they are acting normally now, does not mean that they are not still processing what happened and fears can arise any time.

Young children who saw the horror on TV or heard about it may also worry about their own teachers and administrators not being able to protect them, because they couldn’t protect the victims at Sandy Hook. These are all issues that need to be addressed, rather than avoided.

Be sensitive to fear and insecurity coming out in children who live in disruptive homes, where the parents may be battling each other, for example.  Such children may be feeling even more insecure now, with the fear of impending divorce, etc.

For parents of classmates and siblings of the victims, be aware of feelings of survivor guilt (“Why didn’t I die?” Or “I was fighting with my brother before he went to school and I said to myself, ‘I hate him, I wish I didn’t have a brother’).  These young people need to be counseled about this tragedy certainly not being their fault and that having angry thoughts about a sibling never leads to a tragedy like this.  Parents who provide a faith base to their children should consult with their religious mentors about a discussion about G-d’s plan, here. Families often find comfort and healing in their faith and discussions with those in their religious community.

Certainly, if parents feel overwhelmed or helpless in dealing with their youngsters, seek out professional help.

Let this unspeakable tragedy become a beacon to families around the world to bond closer to your children, assure them that they are safe and look at the world through their eyes before making decisions that can dramatically affect them.

Free 20 Minute Telephone Consultation with Psychologist Dr. Jack Singer

About the Author:

Dr. Jack Singer is a professional speaker, trainer and psychologist. He has been speaking for and training Fortune 1000 companies, associations, CEO’s and elite athletes for 34 years.  Among the association conventions which Dr. Jack has keynoted are those which serve financial planners.

Dr. Jack is a frequent guest on CNN, MSNBC, FOX SPORTS and countless radio talk shows across the U.S. and Canada.  He is the author of “The Teacher’s Ultimate Stress Mastery Guide,” and several series of hypnotic audio programs, some specifically for athletes and some for anyone wanting to raise their self-confidence and esteem. To learn more about Dr. Singer’s speaking and consulting services, please visit  DrJackSinger.com and FunSpeaker.com or call him in the U.S. at (800) 497-9880.

Nov 29

Sport Psychology Tip of the Day: Coping With Mistakes Made During Athletic Performance

By Dr. Jack Singer | General

by Jack Singer, Ph.D.
Licensed Sport/Clinical Psychologist

[contentbox width=”500″ borderwidth=”1″ borderstyle=”dashed” bordercolor=”000000″ dropshadow=”0″ backgroundcolor=”F5F5F5″ radius=”0″]This is the 4th of a series of cutting edge tips from the field of Sport Psychology to help you reach peak performance, both as an individual athlete and as a team. If you have any questions, please feel free to call Dr. Jack at 1-800-497-9880 or email him on the contact page.[/contentbox]

One of the hardest tasks an athlete must do is to quickly let go of mistakes and move on.  Unfortunately, in most athletic pursuits, the athlete makes a mistake, error or blunder and then hammers himself about it.  Staying fixed on the mistake inevitably leads to more mistakes, because focus is left behind.

Sport Psychology Tip of the Day with Dr. Jack SingerAthletes must learn to STAY IN THE NOW… letting go of the past and not worrying about the future outcome of their game. So, how does one do this?

  1. Be aware of your self-talk. Are you obsessing about the mistake, labeling yourself as a lousy player, or simply feeling embarrassed?
  2. Let it go and move on. Put the mistake aside and let it float away from your mind. Tell yourself that your next opportunity to perform well will come at any moment and you need to be focused and ready for it.
  3. Rehearse self-talk that you will use in the future, when you make another mistake. Tell yourself that once the mistake is made, to keep thinking about it trains your subconscious mind to feel awful, instead of to getting ready for great performance in the next situation. So, you will move on, quickly.
  4. The only thing to think about regarding the mistake is how it happened technically, so you can avoid it repeating. Only focus on how you will prevent the mistake the next time you are in the situation.
  5. Keep a positive performance notebook on your nightstand. Athletes so often re-hash mistakes after the game and when they are trying to fall asleep. NEVER DO THAT. Instead, every night before you shut the lights, record what you did in practice/games, etc. that day that you are pleased with and fall asleep re-playing those positive visualizations in your mind.

Core Sports Performance

You know the importance of training your muscles. But you should also know the importance of training your mind. It’s no secret that elite athletes like Tiger Woods, Ken Norton (who used hypnosis training before his famous victory where he broke Mohammad Ali’s jaw), and Nolan Ryan all used hypnosis to propel them to the next level.

Now, you can acquire these same techniques, and reap the benefits of unconscious peak-performance training.

In just four sessions, Dr. Jack’s unique hypnosis techniques and visualization exercises will help you fully utilize your unconscious mind for peak sports performance. You’ll learn to enlist all facets of your consciousness to help you overcome obstacles. Each session will take you into deeper states of relaxation and focus.

All athletes train hard. But less than 1% know how to apply the techniques you’ll learn from Dr. Jack Singer’s Core Sports Performance program. Hypnosis can make the difference for every athlete who wants to gain a competitive edge. Click here to purchase.

Free 20 Minute Telephone Consultation with Psychologist Dr. Jack Singer

About the Author:

Dr. Jack Singer is a professional speaker, trainer and psychologist. He has been speaking for and training Fortune 1000 companies, associations, CEO’s and elite athletes for 34 years.  Among the association conventions which Dr. Jack has keynoted are those which serve financial planners.

Dr. Jack is a frequent guest on CNN, MSNBC, FOX SPORTS and countless radio talk shows across the U.S. and Canada.  He is the author of “The Teacher’s Ultimate Stress Mastery Guide,” and several series of hypnotic audio programs, some specifically for athletes and some for anyone wanting to raise their self-confidence and esteem. To learn more about Dr. Singer’s speaking and consulting services, please visit  DrJackSinger.com and FunSpeaker.com or call him in the U.S. at (800) 497-9880.

Nov 21

Sport Psychology Tip of the Day: Turning Anger Into a Positive Force

By Dr. Jack Singer | Applied Sports Psychology , General

by Jack Singer, Ph.D.
Licensed Sport/Clinical Psychologist

[contentbox width=”500″ borderwidth=”1″ borderstyle=”dashed” bordercolor=”000000″ dropshadow=”0″ backgroundcolor=”F5F5F5″ radius=”0″]This is the third of a series of cutting edge tips from the field of Sport Psychology to help you reach peak performance, both as an individual athlete and as a team. If you have any questions, please feel free to call Dr. Jack at 1-800-497-9880 or email him on the contact page.[/contentbox]

One of the most requested services I receive from athletes of all ages and levels of skill is help controlling their anger.  This is such a common concern, that I developed an Anger Mastery hypnosis series just for this purpose.

Anger is a “normal emotion” and when controlled, can actually serve some very practical purposes, such as becoming an energizer and motivator.  You can channel the strength and energy of your angry emotions into finding a practical solution to the problems that evoked the anger.

Sport Psychology Tip of the Day with Dr. Jack SingerTechniques for Controlling and Mastering Your Anger

  1. Recognize the trigger to your anger.  Is this a recurrent situation that you need to be on the lookout for?
  2. Think of alternative responses to that trigger.  Examples are taking a series of deep breaths through your diaphragm and then giving yourself some positive self talk about how you are happy that you are controlling your reactions.
  3. Rehearse self-talk that you will use in the future, when you are provoked.  For example, “I can control myself and don’t need to react with anger.  I will be very pleased when I react with calmness.”
  4. Take charge of “should” statements.  Stop thinking about what the other player or the ref should or should not have done.
  5. Take responsibility for your angry reactions.  Instead of saying to yourself, “That guy is making me angry,” change it to “I don’t have to allow myself to feel angry when he does that.”  This gives you a feeling of control, which will lessen the probability of you reacting with anger.
  6. Discuss the triggers that provoke you with someone you trust, such as a teammate, roommate, girlfriend or counselor.  The act of discussing it my help you ultimately to let the steam out of your system and gain control.

 

Free 20 Minute Telephone Consultation with Psychologist Dr. Jack Singer

About the Author:

Dr. Jack Singer is a professional speaker, trainer and psychologist. He has been speaking for and training Fortune 1000 companies, associations, CEO’s and elite athletes for 34 years.  Among the association conventions which Dr. Jack has keynoted are those which serve financial planners.

Dr. Jack is a frequent guest on CNN, MSNBC, FOX SPORTS and countless radio talk shows across the U.S. and Canada.  He is the author of “The Teacher’s Ultimate Stress Mastery Guide,” and several series of hypnotic audio programs, some specifically for athletes and some for anyone wanting to raise their self-confidence and esteem. To learn more about Dr. Singer’s speaking and consulting services, please visit  DrJackSinger.com and FunSpeaker.com or call him in the U.S. at (800) 497-9880.

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