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Category Archives for "Public Melt Downs"

Apr 04

Ware & Rice: A Case of Beauty and the Beast

By Dr. Jack Singer | Elite Athletes , Public Melt Downs

Louisville Guard Kevin Ware vs. Rutgers Basketball Coach Mike Rice: A Case of Beauty and the Beast

By Jack Singer, Ph.D.
Licensed Sport Psychologist

Kevin Ware injury

What a week of extremes this has been in college basketball.

Twenty year-old guard, Kevin Ware, had one of the most horrific injuries ever witnessed, when he broke his tibia in two places, during a crucial game with Duke. With his leg snapped almost completely in half and bone protruding six inches, Kevin’s coach and teammates were frozen in shock at what they just witnessed. Yet, Kevin then shows the selflessness and maturity to tell his team and coach to forget about him and “just go win the game.”

A few days later, videos are released showing forty-one year old Rutgers Coach Mike Rice having melt downs and temper tantrums with his players during practices. Rice is seen shoving, grabbing and throwing balls at players at close range, as well as using gay slurs to apparently insult them into playing better.  Of course, the code for players is not to blow the whistle on their coach, because that shows weakness and their scholarship could even be threatened.

Between Rice and Ware, we see a marked contrast in emotional control, maturity and judgment during crucial times. Ware is in control, while Rice is clearly not.To say that Rice needs to learn anger management is a ridiculous understatement, yet he was given the job despite apparently behaving this way in previous coaching positions.

Of course, the big losers in this scenario are the Rutgers players themselves, who are now in limbo, awaiting a new coaching staff and probably a new learning curve for the playing style of that staff.  And who can measure the hit that the victims of Rice’s abuse took to their self-esteem?

Coaches who use intimidation and insults to motivate their players are committing a fraud to the families of those players whom they recruited.  How many parents would have allowed their sons to sign with coaches if they owed up to their abusive tactics and showed videos of those tactics in action, when they made their home visits?  How many talented players fall by the wayside because they will not tolerate such treatment, so they quit, often dropping out of school because they cannot afford to continue without a scholarship, and ending their dreams of a professional career?

This mode of coaching would never survive in the NBA, where the players have all of the power, so coaches like Rice cannot use the excuse that they are preparing their charges for the rigors of professional basketball with such tactics.

It’s time that we blow the whistle on coaches who do not have the maturity to control their emotions. We need to quickly weed them out. All coaches should take a lesson from a twenty year-old, named Kevin Ware, and put their teams ahead of their self-serving egos.

 

Free 20 Minute Telephone Consultation with Psychologist Dr. Jack Singer

About the Author:

Dr. Jack Singer is a professional speaker, trainer and psychologist. He has been speaking for and training Fortune 1000 companies, associations, CEO’s and elite athletes for 34 years. Among the association conventions which Dr. Jack has keynoted are those which serve financial planners.

Dr. Jack is a frequent guest on CNN, MSNBC, FOX SPORTS and countless radio talk shows across the U.S. and Canada. He is the author of “The Teacher’s Ultimate Stress Mastery Guide,” and several series of hypnotic audio programs, some specifically for athletes and some for anyone wanting to raise their self-confidence and esteem.

In his speaking presentations, Dr Jack teaches sales and financial services professionals the exact same skills he teaches to elite and world champion athletes to Develop & Maintain the Mindset of a Champion!

To learn more about Dr. Singer’s speaking and consulting services, please visit DrJackSinger.com and FunSpeaker.com or call him in the U.S. at (800) 497-9880.

Feb 04

Marino… Another Superstar’s Fall From Grace

By Dr. Jack Singer | General , Public Melt Downs

by Dr. Jack Singer
Professional Sport Psychologist

Dan and Claire MarinoHere we go again. South Florida hero, Dan Marino, now joins the ranks of the Arnold Schwarzenegger’s and John Edwards of the world… celebrities who cheated on their wives, and fathered children out of wedlock. In each case, their wives seem to be wonderfully supportive sweet and kind. In fact, exactly the traits any man would look for in a life mate.

Not many people know who Claire Marino is because she has stayed out of the limelight, preferring to mother her wonderful family of 4 natural and 2 adopted children. I don’t know Claire personally, but I did reside in the same Florida town as the Marino family during Dan’s glory years with the Miami Dolphins and always heard people speak very highly of her. Claire is known as a down-to-earth, unpretentious lady, frequently seen chit chatting with strangers in the local Publix supermarket, for example. She and Dan co-chaired several charities in South Florida and she always stood side-by-side with Dan.

So, what is the story with some famous people?

Why are they no longer content with their chosen partners? Why do they stray from religious tenets in which they were raised?

As a Professional Sports Psychologist, I have seen many of these sad stories play out and have counseled many athletes and their wives.

The answer, from this psychologist’s perspective, is that some celebrities (certainly not all) possess a narcissistic personality disorder, plain and simple. In each of the cases I describe above, these men strayed once the spotlight on their careers had dimmed and they then got involved with younger women.

I view this as a struggle to recover the perceived power and adoration that they view as lost once their public careers ended. For John Edwards, he was on the downside of his career. For Arnold Schwarzenegger, his film career was in the rear-view mirror, and for Dan Marino, his sports broadcasting career is miniscule compared to his fabulous sports career with the Dolphins.

So, what message is there for women who consider marrying a future star? Short of having your man analyzed by a professional before marrying him, I would suggest carefully listening to your gut when it comes to the attention and adoration he seeks. Where such an overweening need for attention predominates his personality, pay attention as that is a huge red flag. Don’t delude yourself into thinking he will change. Personality disorders do not change! Take charge of your life and change your choice in a life partner.

Free 20 Minute Telephone Consultation with Psychologist Dr. Jack Singer

About the Author:

Dr. Jack Singer is a professional speaker, trainer and psychologist. He has been speaking for and training Fortune 1000 companies, associations, CEO’s and elite athletes for 34 years. Among the association conventions which Dr. Jack has keynoted are those which serve financial planners.

Dr. Jack is a frequent guest on CNN, MSNBC, FOX SPORTS and countless radio talk shows across the U.S. and Canada. He is the author of “The Teacher’s Ultimate Stress Mastery Guide,” and several series of hypnotic audio programs, some specifically for athletes and some for anyone wanting to raise their self-confidence and esteem. To learn more about Dr. Singer’s speaking and consulting services, please visit DrJackSinger.com and FunSpeaker.com or call him in the U.S. at (800) 497-9880.

Jun 20

Sandusky Attorneys Obviously Desperate

By Dr. Jack Singer | Public Melt Downs

By Jack Singer, Ph.D.

Jerry Sandusky Trial In an act of obvious desperation, it looks like Jerry Sandusky’s attorney’s are trying to use “Histrionic Personality Disorder” as a defense for alleged multiple child molestation.  Seriously?

This raises the (sarcastic) question of should we release all child predators because they may have a need to be the center of attention?  What about serial killers with the same need? What about all of the head football coaches in the U.S. who enjoy the attention and accolades they receive… should we be concerned that maybe they have been molesting children to satisfy their need for attention?  What about all of the people who actually do suffer from Histrionic Personality Disorder…do most of them prey on children in order to satisfy their “disorder?”  The absurdity of this “explanation” is obvious.

Resorting to such a defense proves to me that the defense has no defense.  How do you refute multiple accounts of the same behavior from people who never knew each other?  And how do you refute one of your own assistant coach’s eye witness account of the same behavior?

The bottom line is that Jerry Sandusky likely will be found guilty of multiple counts of child molestation of the worst kind.  Most likely, the jury will determine that under the cloak of a charitable organization that he set up, he preyed on those he was supposed to be protecting.

If found guilty, Sandusky deserves no sympathy and should spend the rest of his life attempting to get the attention of his fellow prisoners. Perhaps meeting them in the prison showers would be an appropriate conclusion to this tragic story.

Your thoughts?

 

Jan 25

The Ultimate Legacy of Papa Joe Paterno

By Dr. Jack Singer | General , Public Melt Downs

By Dr. Jack Singer
Sport Psychologist

Certainly the storied career of former Penn State football coach Joe Paterno has left many praising his legacy of career wins, devotion and loyalty to his university for so many decades, and his concern with providing a wonderful role model for the young men under his tutelage.

Sadly, the end of his career seriously tarnished the image of his decades of honor and success. Pundits will be debating for years whether to give Joe credit for what he accomplished or to revile him for what he did not do, with respect to the Jerry Sandusky sex abuse situation.

But it is precisely what he did not do that may be his greatest legacy after all. Because of what Joe did not do, sensitivity to the horrors of child sexual abuse (in and out of sports) is now at its highest level ever. Safeguards have become instituted in universities across the nation and victims are now encouraged to come forward, rather than living lives of secrecy and mental torment.

These crimes and sexual predators will always be among us, but because of the exposure of the Penn State situation, coaches, athletic directors, college deans and families of athletes will be on the lookout for signs and symptoms and as a result, countless abuses undoubtedly will be prevented.

Shortly after his dismissal, Paterno was diagnosed with lung cancer and broke his hip. Chemotherapy and radiation treatments weakened him, robbing him of his hair and his once-booming voice. In fact, in a recent interview with the Washington Post, he appeared frail, wearing a wig and speaking in a whisper. He canceled public appearances after the interview because of his failing health, according to family members and there was public speculation about how rapidly Mr. Paterno began physically failing when he gave every appearance of being hale and hearty just before he was relieved of his post.

It is really no surprise that a man who was so passionately devoted to his career and who suffered such major and humiliating stress, and the “death” of everything that he was justly famous for that his immune system deteriorated so dramatically and could not fight off the ravages of his illness.

For Paterno’s legion of fans, who referred to the coach affectionately as “JoePa,” the turbulent final months of Paterno’s life were a tragic end to an outstanding coaching career that was built around his motto of “success with honor.”

Rest In Peace Joe Paterno.

 

Feb 23

Reflections on a Humbled Tiger Woods

By Dr. Jack Singer | Public Melt Downs

On February 19, 2010 the most famous golfer in the world Tiger Woods approached the podium and made a public statement, saying he was “deeply sorry” to his family, friends and his wife, finally answering the question that we had all be wondering about: Would he admit he has a serious problem that needs to be addressed, or would he continue to hide behind the cloak of privacy, claiming that his personal life is none of our business?

Although I believe his speech was scripted by media savvy consultants, I did find Tiger’s taking full responsibility for failing his wife, family, sponsors, colleagues and especially youngsters (who have put him on the pedestal of supreme role model) sincere and from the heart.

Moreover, the admission that he needs more therapy for his sex addiction was a relief to me, since so many people diagnosed with any addiction often look for a quick fix and deny their need for more help.  Addicts need years of therapy in order to gain insight and learn to shut down the Dopamine producing effects of their addiction.

Behavioral addictions, such as sexual or gambling addictions, can be just as powerful as an addiction to heroin, in terms of stimulating the pleasure center of the brain.  Most sex addicts live in denial of their addiction, and treating an addiction is dependent on the person accepting and admitting that he or she has a problem. In many cases, it takes a significant event—such as the incredible media circus that Tiger found himself in the center of to force the addict to admit to his or her problem.

Overcoming chemical addictions is facilitated by complete abstinence, but it is unrealistic to expect a sex addict never to engage in sex, particularly if he/she is still married.  Therefore, the stimulation of “normal” relations with his wife can stimulate the drive that Tiger is trying to overcome which is of course a natural conflict.

My professional sense is that Tiger and his wife will need 3-5 years of continual therapy in order to not only eradicate Tiger’s addiction, but to repair the damage to their relationship and the family relation and begin to build anew.  This can be accomplished, although there will certainly be ups and downs.  With Tiger’s profession and the travel that goes with it, trust will be a major issue for his wife to deal with and rebuild.  In addition, there are reports that there was a great deal of unprotected sex taking place, meaning that, in addition to the emotion impact of infidelity, there may be other consequences, such as sexually transmitted diseases, and in Tiger’s case, law suits!

None of this should be construed to be pessimism on my part.  Throughout my career as a psychologist, I have seen hundreds of couples rebound from these situations and build their marriages stronger than ever.  It can be done and I sincerely hope that the Woods family can be preserved.

However, if I had an opportunity to counsel Tiger Woods, I would tell him to be very cautious about continuing to surround himself by “yes men” and sycophants who will absolutely look the other way when he exhibits warning signs of falling back into that very destructive behavior. I would advise him to surround himself with people who genuinely have his and his family’s best interest at heart and who will not fail him by looking away.  That goes not only for his friends and colleagues, but for his therapy team, as well!

I wish Tiger and Elin Woods well and hope that they will make it through this very difficult time in their lives with their family still together and stronger than ever. In my next article, I will address the sport psychology issues involved in Tiger getting back into the swing of his golfing career.

Jack N. Singer, Ph.D.
Certified and Licensed Sport and Clinical Psychologist
Diplomate, National Institute of Sports Professionals, Division of Psychologists
Diplomate, American Academy of Behavioral Medicine
Certified Hypnotherapist, American Academy of Clinical Hypnosis

Free 20 Minute Telephone Consultation with Psychologist Dr. Jack Singer

**You have permission to reprint in your publication or to your website/blog any articles by Dr. Jack Singer found on this Website as long as Dr. Jack Singer’s name and contact information is included. Jack Singer, Ph.D., Licensed Clinical Pyschologist, Sport Psychologist, Marriage, Family & Relationship Therapist, Professional Motivational Speaker. http://drjacksinger.com, toll free 800-497-9880.